You’ve probably read that January is notoriously the most popular month for divorce.
Tensions over the holiday period – or the final straw in a relationship breakdown that’s been coming all year – may leave us emotionally drained: we don’t want another relationship, ever.
For others, the stress of dumping someone, or being dumped, leaves us needing to fill the void, and quickly – just to prove to ourselves that, even if our ex-partner doesn’t value us any longer, others will.
We’re tempted to hook up with the first person who gives us a second glance. (more…)
We wish you a happy Christmas.
The Relate Bedfordshire and Luton counselling centres are closed from close of play on December 22 till January 2 2018.
We do wish you well but know that for many people it can be a difficult time of year.
Deciding who to spend Christmas with is often a major source of tension in relationships – especially for stepfamilies or blended families where there may be competing agendas.
At Relate, we see people who feel enraged by an ex-partner having somehow “manipulated” offspring into spending the big day with them. (more…)
Feeling you aren’t attractive enough to be with your partner can be demoralising and isolating.
It can happen for various reasons.
Your self-esteem may have taken a knock – and with it, your sense of how desirable you are. Perhaps it’s something that you’ve begun to feel after going through physical changes; after an injury, following pregnancy or during menopause. Or, perhaps it’s something you’ve felt for a long time – you may have grown up believing that you’re unattractive, or have been told this in a previous relationship.
What do we mean by ‘attractiveness’? (more…)
We’re expecting a peak in calls in the New Year after relationship tensions come to a head over the Christmas holidays.
In January 2017, we received more than double the number of calls from local people compared with an average month – the total uplift was 108%.
That figure was four times the uplift in Relate calls nationally.
Visits to our website at www.relatebedsandluton.org are also expected to outstrip the national uplift of 47%.
“This rise in people getting in touch is a pattern we see each year,” says local Relate counsellor Diane Whitmore, “but by the time many couples get in touch, their relationship is already at crisis point. For some couples, it is already too late by then. January is also notoriously the most popular month for divorce. (more…)
One in seven people in debt has hidden the problem from their partner.
And, according to latest figures from the Money Advice Service, 15.8% of adults (aged 18+) in the Bedford borough area and 14% of adults in Central Bedfordshire have a debt problem – that’s 51,630 people. In Luton, 18% of adults are in serious debt, equating to 29,395 people.
Relate’s report, In too deep: an investigation into debt and relationships, sponsored by Provident Financial, reveals strong links between debt and relationship issues. (more…)
There’s more than one type of love.
Most of us know of someone who has lost love due to death.
Some of us will feel we’ve lost love at the end of a long relationship – when it’s too late to turn back the hands of time to fix.
Many of us will have loved and had our love rejected.
Then there’s love for children, or pets, or a favourite place… (more…)
Some couples set themselves on a route to relationship break-up – by repeating the same old bad habits time and again.
Here are some of them:
Not listening to what is being said
Communication is the most important part of a relationship. By paying closer attention to how you’re communicating with your partner you can help stop small disagreements turning into bigger problems. (more…)
Feeling your partner drinks too much can create tension and upset in your relationship.
You may feel your partner is ‘being taken away from you’. Perhaps you resent the amount of time they spend out drinking – and feel they’re a completely different person when they’ve been drinking.
Maybe you’re unsure how to broach the topic – or maybe you have, and it’s not gone how you would like. Maybe they’ve accused you of nagging, or they’ve disagreed that there’s a problem at all.
For many couples, this type of issue can bubble beneath the surface for years before becoming a big point of contention.
What can I do? (more…)
Some people are very careful about money – unwilling to spend on anything unless they absolutely have to and squirrelling away the rest.
Some people love to spend money, and will happily spend every last penny – even when they know they should slow down and keep some in reserve.
Most of us are somewhere in the middle, occasionally spending lots or treating ourselves, sometimes saving.
How do we develop these different relationships with money? (more…)
‘The correct way to view mental health is that we all have it and we fluctuate between thriving, struggling and being ill and possibly off work. People with poor mental health including common mental health problems and severe mental illness can be in any of these groups. An individual can have a serious mental health problem but – with the right support – can still be thriving at work.’ – the Government’s Thriving at Work report. Check out how Relate can help in the workplace here.
The Facts on Mental Health at Work
The Vision on Mental Health at Work