The biggest relationship killers?

US website Huffington Post has been talking with divorce attorneys Stateside and come up with what it describes as ‘the eight biggest relationship killers’. Here are what the attorney’s clients, and what the attorneys themselves, say:

My spouse rarely helps out with the kids “When I first meet with people, I often hear that the husband or wife doesn’t feel like they have an equal partner in their marriage, especially when it comes to the responsibility of caring for their children. It takes time and energy to manage a family’s extracurricular activities, doctor’s appointments and social activities. Whenever someone feels their spouse is not pulling their weight, resentment will build.”

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5 communication tips to try with your partner

It’s no great secret that communication is an important part of any relationship. What’s less understood is how to be a good communicator and just how beneficial building good communication habits into your relationship can be.

And while there’s no single, simple solution for making this happen there are a few key communication tips that can help both with difficult conversations and good communication on a day-to-day basis.

1. Don’t sweep things under the carpet

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How you can help the Armed Forces

Local people will be lining the streets of Bedford to show support for our Armed Forces on ‘Armed Forces Day’ on Sunday June 25.

The local Armed Forces Day parade (between 10.30am and 11am) is an opportunity for us to salute Forces’ personnel, their partners and their families, especially at a time of heightened security pressures.

But you can do more… (more…)

When disagreeing becomes abuse

What’s ‘gaslighting’? It’s trying to convince someone they’re wrong about something – even when they aren’t.

Most commonly, it’s when someone frequently disagrees with you, or refuses to listen to your point of view.

Many of us are guilty of mild ‘gaslighting’ from time to time – refusing to hear what our partner has to say, even if they’re in the right, or persistently disagreeing over some minor quibble, even when we aren’t sure of our position. It’s mostly harmless, a form of pettiness – an unwillingness to be proven wrong.

But, in more extreme cases it can be abusive. When it’s done repeatedly, over a long period of time, it can make you doubt your own ideas about things – or even question your sanity. It can have a highly negative effect on your self-esteem and confidence. Someone might deliberately ‘gaslight’ you as a way of controlling you. (more…)

Time for talking

We all know that talking to your partner and being open about how you feel is important.

But it’s easy to let regular talking fall by the wayside — especially with the demands of a busy working life or when looking after children.

Why is talking every day important? (more…)

Tailored training for managers to support stress in the workplace

We are offering bespoke support starting this month to help employers manage anxiety and stress within their workforce.

Our training team will work with managers in workshops to identify signs of stress in their workforce and provide tailored support strategies for staff.

Latest Health and Safety Executive statistics show the total number of work-related stress, depression or anxiety cases in 2015/16 was 488,000 (224,000 of them new cases), a prevalence rate of 1,510 per 100,000 workers. Both the total and rate have remained broadly unchanged for more than a decade.

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When moaning starts to have an impact

Moaning can sound like a light hearted problem, or something that’s not that serious.

And while there’s nothing wrong with the occasional moan, if it’s constantly happening in your relationship, it can begin to have an effect.

On one level, constant moaning can create a negative atmosphere in a relationship. The person on the receiving end of the moaning can find it exhausting, depressing or damaging to their self-esteem. They may even end up ‘counter moaning’, so the relationship becomes a battleground.

The person doing the moaning may feel they’re trying to get a point across, but they’re not being heard. This can be frustrating and isolating.

Why are they ‘moaning’? (more…)

Tailored strategies for making improvements to your customer care

Our new bespoke support for employers starting this month aims to help them improve their handling of customer queries and complaints over the phone or face-to-face.

Relate Bedfordshire and Luton will work with managers in workshops to analyse their customer care and provide tailored strategies for improvements.

“Customer care is at the forefront of business transactions in all customer-facing sectors – and can build or break a brand’s reputation and credibility,” says local Relate CEO Angela Foll.

“Our course is designed to prepare and equip customer service staff to receive calls into their organisation in accordance with guidelines that promote a consistent standard and a client-focused approach.” (more…)

Free support for relatives and friends of people affected by dementia

This week it’s Dementia Awareness Week.

The chances are you’ll know someone living with dementia.

The disease affects one in three people over the age of 65 nationwide as well as about 40,000 people who are younger. Early last year Bedford Borough and Central Bedfordshire Council estimated that 5,000 people with dementia live in their local authority areas. Most have mild or moderate dementia while about 12% have severe dementia. More than three-quarters of people with dementia live in the community.

Which also means the chances are you know of relatives and friends looking after people with dementia. “They care for their loved ones with dementia but frequently don’t think of themselves as ‘carers’,” says Diane Whitmore, from Relate Bedfordshire and Luton. “Often they look after their partner over many years as the condition degenerates. It’s an expression of their love, even when their partner becomes almost unrecognisable from the person they once knew.” (more…)

Time for a change?

Do you ever feel there’s an imbalance in your relationship?

A degree of imbalance often makes a relationship work. You and your partner are good at different things: you complement each other, you’re a ‘good fit’. You’re pleased that you’re able to do some things while your partner can to do others. One of you may be an extrovert and the other an introvert — the former may bring fun and activity into the partnership; the other a more calm, nurturing environment when needed. Far from creating issues, this sense of fulfilling one another’s needs makes you happy. (more…)