Forgiveness: it’s the hardest thing to do

Forgiving your partner if they’ve done something to upset you can be one of the hardest things to do in a relationship.

When you’re feeling disappointed, angry or betrayed, the idea of forgiving someone can feel a little bit like giving in – as if, by letting go of your resentment, you’re allowing them to ‘get away with it’.

It can be more tempting to hang on to negative emotions – acting distant and frosty as a way of punishing the person who has upset you. (more…)

Why do my children argue so much?

Arguments between children can be upsetting for a parent. You may worry about your relationship with your children – especially if the arguments have been going on regularly for a while. You may feel a responsibility to stop the arguing, or may be upset that the arguments are causing disharmony in your family.

While some arguing between children is common – and indeed, might be expected – what can make a difference is the regularity and intensity of arguments. If your children are constantly at odds, or arguments are becoming really aggressive, or even physical, this can create real problems. (more…)

That’s not cheating – or is it?

‘Micro-cheating’ – said to be a new buzzword – is all about little things you might think aren’t that naughty, but could turn out to be.

Is there such a thing – ‘cheating but only a bit’?

Yes, says Dr Martin Graff, professor of psychology at the University of South Wales, who wrote about this modern dating dilemma in an article for a psychology journal. (more…)

Alternatives to ‘ghosting’

Social media has brought a whole new range of opportunities and insecurities to relationships.

On the ‘down side’, those who date and have grown up with social media face the likes of ‘ghosting’.

For those lucky enough to not have experienced it, ‘ghosting’ is when someone you’ve been seeing suddenly cuts off all contact, seemingly vanishing off the face of the earth without explanation.

Has the other person stopped replying because you just said something weird? Have they met someone new? Do they not actually like you?

It’s enough to make you feel paranoid. (more…)

Effects of your arguments on children

Many of us will remember what it was like to listen to our parents arguing. The feelings of helplessness, panic and sadness. A desire to block it out or run away.

Yet it can be easy to forget this as a parent later in life. We can get so mixed up in arguments with our partner that we don’t see things from the perspective of our children – who may be going through something very similar to what we once felt.

It’s no secret that parental arguments can have a negative effect on children. The different ways in which this can occur, though, aren’t always as obvious. And it can be easy to fail to appreciate how long-lasting these effects can be – sometimes carrying on for years as children become adults themselves. (more…)

How to argue less

Arguments are common in all kinds of relationships. Some degree of conflict can even be healthy, as it means both people are expressing themselves, rather than keeping everything inside and letting emotions fester.

But if you’re arguing all the time, or simple disagreements end up in a hostile silence or screaming match, it can really start to take its toll – or even leave you wondering whether you’re all that compatible.

Learning ways to handle disagreements constructively is crucial in any relationship. (more…)

Dating: the pleasures and pitfalls

Dating can be a great way of meeting and getting to know a potential partner.

Online dating has made it possible to meet more new people than ever – and more easily too.

And while that’s allowed us to have more control over the types of people we meet, and to think in more detail about the sort of partner who might work for us, it has also come with a few challenges and pitfalls. (more…)

When your ex is badmouthing you to your children

Your ex badmouthing you to your children is a situation faced by lots of ex-partners.

It may make you angry and rekindle all sorts of emotions left over from your relationship. The fact that the badmouthing is being directed at you via your children may make you fear they’ll be turned against you. You may well be worried too about the effects it may be having on your children. (more…)

Virtual reality app puts you in the shoes of someone living with dementia

If you’re caring for someone with dementia in your relationship – or you just want to understand more about what it’s like to live with dementia – an innovative virtual reality app is about to be launched.

A Walk Through Dementia will be premiered at a three-day public installation at Lonson’s St Pancras International Station from June 2.

The free app, available from the Google Play Store, has been developed by Alzheimer’s Research UK and virtual reality specialists VISYON. It uses a widely-available Google Cardboard headset to put you in the shoes of someone with dementia. The experience will also be viewable headset-free on the app, or online at: www.awalkthroughdementia.org. (more…)

Coping with the ‘snowball of stress’

Stress can have a distorting effect on our relationships. It can make us feel low and not wanting to talk to people. We tend to shut ourselves away and keep our emotions on the inside.

It can make us argumentative and prone to lashing out – ready to lose our temper in an instant. Or, it can cause us to oscillate between different moods at different times.

It’s hard to ‘plan’ for the effects of stress. Often, we don’t anticipate being stressed – stressful experiences often take us by surprise, and can come out of nowhere. A sudden increase in workload. An unwelcome call from your mum. An unexpected bill. One moment you’re feeling calm and happy; the next, hot, panicky and irritated. (more…)